Oliana's first pair of eyes and her first birthday!!

Oliana finally recieved her first pair of prosthetic eyes in May. Right before her first birthday! We were so excited. The whole trip down to L.A. I just kept trying to imagine what my baby girl would look like with eyes. What a strange concept, huh. We thought she was only going to recieve the painted eye on the right side, but suprise, our occularist Beverly decided to do the left too!

She put the one that she had made for her right eye first. It was just such a surreal experience. I just kept starring at her. Oohhing and Aahhing. She was making faces at Seth and I like, what are you two googling at? She was just so beautiful. Even though I know she doesn't see me with them, it's really nice looking into them. I find that I don't focus on her eyes as much as I do her other features to tell her expressions. I still concentrate on her eyebrows and mouth to tell what she's thinking. They do make a difference in her appearance though.

We went outside the occularist's building after Beverly put in her right eye to wait while she constructed and painted her left eye. Seth and I could not stop ourselves from just staring at her. She just looked so different to us. I didn't think it would make that big of a difference, but it did. We went back upstairs and Beverly put in the left eye. As much as a difference as having one eye in, imagine what two looked like! It was just amazing. It took a while to get used to them. We were just so used to seeing blank eyes. I only wish she could see through them. We still do think that she can see some light. She squints in the sun, which is a very good sign!! We're happy with that.

For Oli's first birthday we had a small party at our house for her with family. She had two cakes. One was a flower and one was a heart with her name brailled on it. It was so cute. We put the cake on her tray and she heard us set something down. So immediately those little hands stretched out to discover what treat we had put before her. She grabbed a huge handful and shoved it in her mouth. Her eyes lit up and she just kept shoveling it in as we quickly sang happy birthday. There was no way we could take it away from her. She loved it!!

That night Seth and I took her to the Las Vegas Philharmonic. She really enjoyed that. She listened for a whole hour. When the music started she just sat so quiet and intent and then started bobbing her head. She probably would have listened longer,but the next set was really slow and the music was integrated with a narrative. Our Oli likes loud fast music. We had a really nice day and I think she really enjoyed her first birthday.

Heaven's Special Child

It's been a long time since I've been online and many things have happened...changed...dreams are becoming a reality. Oliana continues to flourish as the perfect little girl that I have always dreamt about. Funny now as I look back, I never realized what profound, unwavering love I would be able to show my children.

Oliana is almost 1 year old. Hard to believe, I know. Much as I love having a new baby around the house I don't think there would be enough money in the world to make me go back to the first few months of Oliana's life. She is growing to be such a strong willed, smart girl and yet she has such a sweetness to her that just melts the hearts of everyone who meets her. She has touched so many lives already and has taught us the importance of patience, determination, and not being prejudice against that of which we don't understand.

Many people told us when Oliana was born that she chose us to be her parents and now more than ever, as she gets older, I find that to be true. Here is a thought from another mother who has a child with a disability. It really touched my heart. It's funny because as I read it I thought, this could have been written for me!




THE SPECIAL MOTHER by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth;son. Patron saint.. give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint Matthew."

"Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps - "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see... ignorance,cruelty,prejudice..and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of the day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as she is here by My side."

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."