OLI'S BIRTH

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child I was elated, even more so when I found out it was a baby girl. I had my son a year earlier and was wanting to add a little girl to the mix. My pregnancy was completely normal. A little morning sickness in the beginning but nothing to complain about. I had an ultrasound at 18weeks and it showed her to be completely healthy. Although she was healthy, she did have one major problem that the ultrasound failed to pick up. She was blind.

There were a few bumps along the way while I was pregnant. It was going well until I was 32 weeks along. I have had a back problem since I was 11 and have had multiple surgeries. My back is a major concern when I am pregnant and I was hospitalized with my son, Kekoa, at 20weeks for extreme pain which in turn caused me to go into premature labor. Thankfully they were able to stop the labor and I never had any other problems with him. Even during labor I didn't have any back pain!!!

When I was 32weeks pregnant with Oliana I hurt my back again while I was lifting Kekoa. I ended up in premature labor and was hospitalized overnight. They gave me 3 doses of Turbutaline which stopped the labor. My doctor then put me on bed rest. He wanted me to stay on bed rest until the baby was delivered, but...... 2 weeks later I convinced him I was fine. No more back pain, no more contractions and I had a one and half year old son to take care of!!! The doctor put me on Procardia to prevent premature labor and they even did a test to predict whether or not I was at risk to go into premature labor. The test came back negative and I agreed to take the medication, unaware of how horrible it would make me feel.

I work at a children's hospital as a nurse in the neonatal intensive care unit. Although I do work 12 hour shifts my charge nurses were aware of my situation and only gave me feeder-grower babies to take care of. This means that I get to sit a lot and feed babies. I wasn't expecting how horrible the Procardia would make me feel. I was scheduled to work Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I took the medicine as ordered (4 times a day) and I couldn't function at work on Saturday. I felt terrible. I had no energy and was light headed. I knew then that if I wanted to continue working I had to stop taking it. Not the brightest idea I had ever had, but I needed the money for my maternity leave. I wouldn't be getting paid for the majority of it. So I stopped taking it on Saturday and by Tuesday morning I was contracting every 5 minutes. At first I thought they were Braxton Hicks but they were pretty regular. When my husband got off of work that evening we drove to the hospital 1 hour away. Once there they gave me another 3 doses of Turbutaline and sent me home with strict instructions to take the Procardia as ordered, complete bed rest and absolutely no more work!! I did as they said but Wednesday I was once again back in labor and delivery contracting every 10 minutes, dilated to 4 with a bulging bag of waters. 3 more doses of Turbutaline and THEY STILL SENT ME HOME!!! I couldn't believe it. My doctor was not on that night and when I went to his office the next day, still contracting every 5 minutes, he was not happy. He checked me again and I was now dilated to 5. This baby girl was ready to come out and we were tired of driving back and forth to the hospital every day. I told him I was not going back unless it was to have a baby. He agreed and said it was time.

I was nervous about having the baby at 35weeks, but I do work in the NICU and know that most 35weekers do fine. Sometimes they need a little help breathing, but most are okay. I was starting to wonder though, if anything was wrong with my baby. Why did I keep going into labor? I was healthy and no longer in pain. There was no reason my baby should be born preterm. Earlier in the pregnancy I kept having dreams that something was wrong with her. I just chalked it up to working where I do and being paranoid. I even told my husband that my job was starting to get to me. He agreed that I probably kept having these dreams because of the babies at work. Even though it never bothered me when I was pregnant with Kekoa. I just had a feeling something was wrong with her. Turns out, I was right.

Oliana came into this world on May 10, 2007 with her eyes closed. One of the neonatologists I worked with was present at her birth to make sure she was breathing okay and didn't need to go the the intensive care nursery. She came out pink and crying. He examined her, dried her off and congratulated me on a having a healthy baby girl. No one noticed there was something wrong with her eyes until they tried to put the newborn eyes drops in. Seth, my husband, came back from the nursery and told me that the nursery nurse thought that her eyes were still fused shut. I laughed. What 35weeker still had their eyes fused?? Little did I know..... I told him not to be silly, that they were just swollen. In the back of my mind I did think they looked a bit odd. When most babies are born they are very alert and open their eyes right away. Kekoa did. I kept telling myself that they were just swollen. Even when the nurse came in and told me that she was worried about her eyes I told her not to be, she would open them tomorrow once the swelling went down. She said that she would let the pediatrician know that Oli wouldn't open them and we would see about them tomorrow.

The next day was Friday and by that afternoon she still hadn't opened them. I was starting to worry, but only a little. Once the pediatrician came in and looked at her my whole world was turned upside down. Seth had left the hospital to take Kekoa home to feed him and take a nap. I was all alone to get the worst news I had ever received in my life.

The doctor came in, introduced himself and began examining her. I thought it was a bit strange because he was looking every where except her eyes. Finally he looked at them. Tried to get them open and couldn't. I said "They're just swollen right?" He said no he didn't think so. He thought that she either had very small eyes or no eyes at all. No eyes??? How could she have no eyes. Very small eyes?? I wasn't even thinking blindness. Then he said he thought that she had micropthalmia. Something I had never seen or heard of. I have never taken care of a baby with small eyes or no eyes. He said that it was very likely that she would be blind. My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe. How could this have happened? How could this have happened to me?? Where the hell was my husband!!!! I called my mom right away crying and saying that my beautiful baby girl might not have any eyes. Seth came in the room then with flowers and a huge mother's day balloon. Mothers day was in 2 days. I felt so sorry for him at that moment. He didn't know that his baby was blind and I didn'twant to have to be the one to tell him. I had no choice. I hung up with my mom and he kept asking me why I was crying. I think he already knew something was wrong with her eyes. I told him what the doctor had said. I don't even remember his reaction. I just felt terrible. This was my fault. I was supposed to grow us a healthy baby and I failed.

Later that day I called the doctor I worked with that had attended her delivery. He had already heard about what was going on and was calling Oli's pediatrician to get her a CT scan right away. The pediatrician was concerned that she might have something called Frasers syndrome. He had only seen one baby 15 years ago with micropthalmia and that baby had Frasers. He was concerned that she might have reproductive and kidney abnormalities. He ordered a CT scan, and a renal and pelvic ultrasound. They were all done a few hours later. The micropthalmia was confirmed, she had mild hydronephrosis (fluid in her kidney's) and 2 uterus's. What else could possibly be wrong with my baby? Was her brain okay? Would she be smart? These are all questions I wanted answered right away and no one could answer them. The pediatric group we were using was terrible and they didn't want to do any more tests. So the next day they sent us home with our beautiful,peaceful, blind baby girl Oliana. It would be a long time before we would have any answers.