KEKOA

Ten years ago if someone would have told me I would have two kids I never would have believed them. I couldn't picture myself having ANY kids at that point. Now, to have two perfect little people in my life...Two people I've known such a short while, but who have changed me forever. I don't think I can begin to put into words the love I have for them.

Kekoa is growing up so quickly. That first year seemed to last a lifetime (not the easiest baby) and now he's almost two. He's talking a ton and is a very opinionated little boy. He sure lets us know what he wants and what he doesn't. I think he's going to be a very knowing and compassionate person. Sometimes when I look into his eyes it feels as if he knows everything that I'm thinking and feeling. I get a sense that his soul is much older than he is. There is something very special about him. He's proven that to us with Oliana.

I picture him in the future as a power house. Always driving forward trying to accomplish his dreams, not letting anything get in his way. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about how he's going to help his little sister. Not by doing things for her, but just by being who he is. I spent a lot of time in the beginning feeling sorry for him. Sorry that much of my attention would be focused on Oli. Sorry that he was going to have to witness humanity at it's meanest at such a young age. I'm now starting to feel that this will give him opportunities and life lessons that he may not have gotten had he had the "normal" family. Lessons I may not have taught him otherwise. Lessons I may have overlooked.

He'll learn to love himself and others for qualities not visible on the outside and that the "eyes" are not always the windows to the soul. He'll learn that beauty is not always in the eye of the beholder but rather in the heart. He will learn to appreciate the world through other senses to identify with his sister. He has already started to do this by closing his eyes and feeling his way through the house. Most importantly, he will learn that he can achieve anything he wants in life and not make excuses for what he doesn't have. I hope he'll be confident and never feel sorry for himself or his sister. I hope he learns that without grief in our lives we never fully appreciate happiness. Most of all I hope he knows how much I love him and how proud of him I already am.